A Monopoly on Truth?

We don’t have a monopoly on truth.

Part of my perfectionistic thinking is that the Church has to be the single repository of all truth. Logically, I know that’s not right, but it is an expectation I have held. So for this month’s blog I’m going to blow that thinking out of the water. 

I’m going to point you to this amazing podcast with S. Michael Wilcox. In his words: “God has been speaking to his children all the time. Every way he can, everywhere . . . I can hear (his voice in) the voice of a sage, or a philosopher or a poet or playwright. God’s voice is like an orchestra. We believe in a God that is speaking all the time, everywhere, every way he can.”

It comes in two parts:
God’s Many Voices (Part 1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZsEHzgNSZA
God’s Many Voices (Part 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_xmLBfPZMs 

Joseph Smith declared: “One of the grand principles of ‘Mormonism’ is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may.” (Joseph Smith, History of the Church 5:498-5.) He also said, “Have the Presbyterians any truth? Yes. Have the Baptists, Methodists, etc., any truth? Yes. . . . We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true ‘Mormons.’” (Joseph Smith, History of the Church 5:516-18.) 

Brigham Young taught: “‘Mormonism,’ so-called, embraces every principle pertaining to life and salvation, for time and eternity. No matter who has it. If the infidel has got truth it belongs to ‘Mormonism.’ The truth and sound doctrine possessed by the sectarian world, and they have a great deal, all belong to this Church. As for their morality, many of them are, morally, just as good as we are. All that is good, lovely, and praiseworthy belongs to this Church and Kingdom. ‘Mormonism’ includes all truth. There is no truth but what belongs to the Gospel. It is life, eternal life; it is bliss; it is the fulness of all things in the gods and in the eternities of the gods.” (Teaching of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, 16.)

We welcome truth, from wherever it comes. 

To be continued . . . with Part 79

Journey to the Subconscious

I recently had a “journey” experience that resulted in significant enlightenment and healing from the perfectionistic thinking that has hounded me for so much of my life. 

I’ve been limited by faulty core beliefs or FCBs (see Part 24 of this blog) which developed in my childhood years. As a result of childhood trauma, I took on incorrect beliefs about myself: I’m not important, I’m a bad boy, I’m inadequate, my needs don’t matter, I’m not   (fill in the blank)   enough. With those in my subconscious, I often responded to situations out of survival mode, not really knowing why. Most of my subconscious activity and behaviors were programmed without my awareness. Although I’ve made some progress at healing from those FCBs, more often it has resulted in entering cycles where I could end up wallowing in shame.

Those beliefs were held in my subconscious mind. So, even though I logically knew that these FCBs were false, my subconscious still believed them. 

Let’s explore a little bit about the subconscious vs. the conscious. Here are the main differences between the two brain systems:

While the subconscious mind remains active 24/7, the conscious mind is inactive while we sleep.

While the subconscious mind is exploratory, the conscious mind is inhibitory.

While the subconscious mind is emotional, the conscious mind is logical.

While the subconscious mind lives in the here and now, the conscious mind can think in the past and in the future.

Human language doesn’t exist in the subconscious mind but the underlying representations for human language are stored there. For example, the word “tree” is formed in the conscious mind, but the underlying form of a tree, its symbol or its representation exists in the subconscious mind!

Thinking is a function of the conscious mind, thinking does not happen at the subconscious level, instead, the subconscious mind processes representations of our real-life experiences, memories, etc.

We experience all of our dreams on a subconscious level every night during REM-sleep but we typically are not aware of it because our conscious mind is inactive and our bodies are at rest.

When people talk about the ego they are talking about the conscious mind. Since the subconscious mind never ages, it remains pure, child-like, curious, explorative all our lives.

Through the help of a gifted mentor/counselor I was able to suppress my conscious mind and access my subconscious. This mentor facilitated the journey using guided imagery, helping to effectively reprogram my subconscious, so that I could release the FCBs and the shame-based thinking. 

And it worked. I emerged from the journey with a heightened sense of who I really am—a beloved son of God with divine nature. I have the seeds of god-ness in me. My Heavenly Father’s love for me is pure and perfect, divine, infinite and eternal, constant and faithful. 

Jesus Christ is the source of all light and truth. His light is in and through all things. It fills the immensity of space. He is the way, the truth and the life, the light and life of the world. 

I experienced in a simple way the reality of the great intercessory prayer, that I am one with God and Christ, and they are in me. 

Having discovered my true identity, the desire for service has become instinctual. Seeing myself as God sees me, I’m better able to see others as God sees them. 

I’m closer to the mighty change of heart, the spiritual rebirth promised in scripture. 

Although I’ve received some shifts in my systems, I still have old habits and propensities that need to be worked through. The law of the harvest is real. Whatever I sow, I’ll reap. I receive what I give out. 

I’m eager to see where this new reality takes me. 

To be continued . . . with Part 78

Whosoever Hath 

Jesus taught, “For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.” (Matt. 13:12) 

At first reading, this sounds a bit discriminatory. If I have something, then I’ll get more. But if I don’t have something, I’ll get less. If I’m born into a wealthy family, then I’ll get more wealth, but if I’m born into poverty, I’ll get poorer. It doesn’t seem fair. 

Taken in context, Jesus is explaining why he speaks in parables: “because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.”

If I’m given the gift of understanding and I know that I “hath” that gift, then I’ll receive more of that gift. 

I believe that it applies to anything I receive. If I have faith the size of a mustard seed, and I know that I “hath” that, then that faith will grow. Is it initially a perfect faith? No. But if I nurture it, eventually my faith will become perfect. (See Alma 32) 

If I have a certain level of light and truth, and I know that I “hath” it, then that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day. (D&C 50:34)

A concept I’ve encountered over the years is the “abundance vs. scarcity” mentality. There are various takes on this, but the one I’ll mention here is this: That which I focus on, I get more of. So if my attention is on what I don’t have—not smart enough, not rich enough, not thin enough, not talented enough—then I’m likely to stay stuck in that lack. But when I put my awareness on what I do have, then I’ll bring more of that into my life. 

My all or nothing way of seeing the world can prevent me from “hathing” abundance. I might say, “Well, I don’t really have compassion, or peace, or joy.” But if I’m honest, I do have some compassion and some peace and some joy. So, by allowing myself to “hath” those gifts, they exist in me and I foster them to a greater degree. 

Coming to understand this has changed the way I pray. My prayers are more grateful. Instead of asking for more (fill in the blank), I thank him that I hath some (fill in the blank) and that it’s increasing. It helps me view my progress in a more hopeful and grateful way. 

Jesus taught: “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) Everything good comes from Him. So if I follow Him, he will give me more goodness, and I’ll “hath” it in greater abundance. 

To be continued . . . with Part 77

Practice Makes Perfect? 

I have been grateful for the opportunity to practice. Since I often don’t get things right the first time, I appreciate the chance for a “do over” which might be a little better than the previous attempt. 

Brené Brown teaches that concepts like empathy and vulnerability are skills that need to be developed; they don’t usually come naturally. So I feel better when I need to work on those attributes, rather than expecting to just “have” them. 

Sister Camille N. Johnson, when she spoke at the most recent BYU Women’s Conference, shared: 

For the last 30+ years I’ve been practicing law. I think there is a reason it is referred to as the “practice” of law. I have never taken a perfect deposition, nor conducted a perfect cross-examination—there was always another question or a better question I could have asked.

But I believe the service I provided to my clients was not only satisfactory, it was of value. I was practicing law with an eye toward changing, improving, and perfecting. My efforts, though imperfect, were sufficient because I was practicing.

Similarly, we are practicing perfection to return to our heavenly home. And the Savior, whose grace makes eternal perfection possible, gives us opportunities to practice. 

In a recent episode of The Chosen, Jesus was depicted as practicing a sermon. That scene drew criticism, since Jesus was perfect. However, scripture tells us that Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man (Luke 2:52). He didn’t just have everything given to him. He learned line upon line. He practiced. 

So, does practice make perfect? I guess it depends on what I’m practicing and how I’m practicing it. If my goal is to become a better disciple of Christ, then that practicing can help me become a little more like Him every day. And since he is a God of 2nd, 3rd, and unlimited chances, I’m also allowed to make mistakes and practice perfection line upon line. 

To be continued . . . with Part 76

I Don’t Believe in Miracles

I don’t believe in miracles; I rely on them. 

Our brains have two hemispheres, the right and the left. And the two “brains” have different functions. The left governs the ability to be intellectual, analytical, verbal, logical, and organized. The right is more inclined toward values, emotions, intuition, the aesthetic, and the creative. 

I can tell that I’ve tended to favor my left brain throughout my life. And it has fit well with my perfectionistic perspective. But now that I’m seeking for a more balanced approach, I try to deliberately spend more time in my right brain, to give it practice. 

The left brain needs to see to believe. The right brain believes more readily. And since “all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23), I choose to believe; to shift toward my right brain. 

Moroni asks, “has the day of miracles ceased?” And then he answers his own question, “if these things have ceased . . . it is because of unbelief.” (See Moroni 7: 27, 29, 35-37.) So yes, I choose to believe. 

I believe that God has me on a path toward light and truth. Line upon line, He is putting resources in my path that are leading me ever closer to Him. Some of these miraculous resources are: people, angels, scriptures, podcasts, audiobooks, classes, meetings, challenges, opportunities, memes, conference talks, processes, pain, blogs, insights, videos, prayers, afflictions, understanding, healing, and nature. 

One of the gifts of the spirit is the gift to “work mighty miracles” (Moroni 10:12). The gifts of the spirit are usually given for the benefit of others. I’ve been the beneficiary of those miracles. 

Last week, we were able to attend a session in the temple, as a family friend received her endowments. It was such a blessing. President Russell M. Nelson has taught: “I promise you that the Lord will bring the miracles He knows you need as you make sacrifices to serve and worship in His temples.” I felt the truth of that. I believe it. And I trust that He is bringing them in the order and at the frequency they are needed for my good. 

To be continued . . . with Part 75

The Advocate

In Section 45 of the Doctrine and Covenants, Jesus says:

3 Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before him—
4 Saying: Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified;
5 Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life.

At first read, my shame causes me to wonder: Why does Jesus have to plead for God to spare me? It almost makes it seem that God is this stern judge who is ready to throw the book at me at the least indication of my guilt. Unfortunately, I’ve pictured God that way for much of my life—angry and harsh. 

But Jesus didn’t need to plead my cause in order to pacify God, to calm Him down. The truth is, justice cannot be robbed and God must uphold the law of justice. But because Jesus paid the price, the law of justice is satisfied, and the law of mercy is able to take effect for me. 

Elder Holland taught: Remember that God is on your side. He is not an angry, vicious God trying to trip you. He is for you—not against you. He is your Father. He is anxious to do everything possible to bless you. He hears your prayers and desires to make your life all that it can be.

In the “court of law” metaphor, God is the Judge and Jesus is the defense attorney. Because I have sinned, I don’t deserve Heaven; I haven’t earned it. But Jesus has earned it, and He does deserve it. And because He is my Advocate, my Mediator, my Intercessor, He is also able to be my Deliverer, my Redeemer, and my Savior. His blood has atoned for me. 

To continue the metaphor, Satan would be the prosecuting attorney. Scripture calls him “the accuser” (Rev. 12:10). He’s the one pointing the finger. 

My perfectionistic propensity tempts me to also point my finger at others, and to be judgmental of them. Part of my healing is to recognize that I need to be less concerned about how others are “the problem.” I need to be concerned about my relationship with Him. He can help me solve the problems and challenges I experience. 

How great, how glorious, how complete,
Redemption’s grand design,
Where justice, love, and mercy meet
In harmony divine!
(Hymns, #195)

To be continued . . . with Part 74

Silly Old Bear

I recently finished The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. It’s humorous and charming as it teaches the basic principles of Taoism through the interactions of A. A. Milne’s beloved characters. I enjoyed the book, although the concepts are nearly a foreign language to a perfectionist. 

Three basic principles of Taoism are inaction, simplicity, and living in harmony with nature. They sound noble and idealistic. But imagine how a perfectionist might approach trying to implement them. 

Inaction. Since my self-worth is tied to my accomplishments, then inaction is just going to prevent me from achieving. If I don’t step up and work toward something commendable, then how can I get the applause my ego needs? If I sit idly by and wait for good things to happen to me, the loss of control will drive me bonkers. 

Simplicity. I need to have all my ducks in a row, my schedule organized, and my to do list ready for checking off. I can’t afford to be simple in the face of the intricacies of life. My existence is too complex to let things simply play out. I’ve gotta have things well-planned. 

Living in harmony with nature. It’s a jungle out there. I can’t just go out and smell the roses. Who knows what might happen while I’m away from my desk? I’ve gotta be where I can watch the clock and stay on-task. 

Although an oversimplification, my responses to the three principles illustrate the exact reason a perfectionist could benefit from taking things slowly and relinquishing control. 

While Eeyore frets, and Piglet hesitates, and Rabbit calculates, and Owl pontificates, Pooh just is. 

Silly old bear. We could learn a thing or two from him. 

To be continued . . . with Part 73

BYUI Devotional – Julie Shiffler

For this month’s blog post, I’m going to just point you to the devotional message shared this past week by Julie Shiffler, who works as a counselor in the BYU-Idaho Counseling Center. In her devotional talk “Progressing toward Perfection” she refers to herself as a recovering perfectionist and shares experiences and resources to help the viewer become less perfectionistic. Near the beginning, she states, “My message today is addressed to those of you who are demanding more of yourselves than you can realistically do.” For me, this message was 25 minutes well-spent. 

https://www.byui.edu/devotionals/julie-shiffler
If the above link doesn’t work, try this one: https://www.byui.edu/devotionals/
Then scroll down to the Livestream Video which should be current until the next devotional speaker’s video runs. 

To be continued . . . with Part 72

Let Your Light Shine

One propensity of perfectionists is that we care a lot about what other people think of us. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown talks about the 4P’s: pretending, performing, pleasing, and perfecting. These have definitely been part of my inclination, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

In this month’s Come, Follow Me, we read about how Martin Harris asked Joseph Smith to let him take the 116 pages of manuscript translated from the first part of the Book of Mormon. Martin lost them and Joseph was chastised for giving in to peer pressure, or “the persuasions of men.” “You should not have feared man more than God.” (D&C 3:6-7) So if I care more about what men want than what God wants, then I’m in good company, with Joseph. 

My patriarchal blessing talks about me being a messenger of the gospel, that I should be a good example, and that those in my community would see my example and glorify God. This aligns with Jesus’ admonition to “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matt 5:16)

So, it is good to do good, and to let others see our good examples. But we are also told to “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them.” (Matt. 6:1) This seems contradictory. Should I let others see me doing good, or not? 

I’ve come to the conclusion that what makes the difference is: the condition of my heart. If I perform, or do alms, or good works—with the intent to be praised of men, then my heart isn’t in the right place. If I do good deeds out of the goodness of my heart, then I’m not desiring praise and recognition. 

I recently finished a book by Virginia Hinckley Pearce, A Heart Like His: Making Space for God’s Love in Your Life. I really like this quote from Chapter 4. 

Learning to live with an open heart is not about learning to say the right words and refraining from saying the wrong words. In fact, just the opposite. I would venture to say that when my heart is open and filled with God’s love, I cannot say it wrong, and when it is hardened and closed to Him, I simply cannot say it right, no matter how carefully I may choose the words or phrases or inflections of voice. Remember that this is all about becoming, not doing or saying.

So, that’s what makes the difference. If I perform or serve with an open heart, then others will see that I am doing it in an authentic, genuine way. 

For me, this is really difficult to do consistently. In fact, I’m just coming to understand some of this. A good friend told me that I tend to act and make decisions too often above the neck—meaning that I need to be less analytical and more heart-directed. He’s right. My mind cares more about how I appear to others. Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)

To be continued . . . with Part 71

The Tow Rope

Years ago, when I was a single student attending BYU, I had an experience with a tow rope. It taught me to trust that all things will work together for my good. 

At the time, I was in a singing group and we had scheduled a Sunday fireside performance in Las Vegas (actually, Henderson) Nevada. I was driving an old 1971 Ford Maverick. It was summer and the Nevada desert was hot. We drove down and the fireside went well. The next morning I was ready to drive back to Provo, but had car problems. I needed to get the Maverick to a garage to have it repaired before I could start the trip back. They would tow the car, but would charge me (what I thought was) an exorbitant amount. Rather than pay the tow charge, I had a friend drive me to a hardware store where I bought a nylon tow strap with hooks. Then he towed me to the garage and the repair was made. 

As I drove back through Southern Utah, I was a bit angry at God. I was a poor starving student with a minimum-wage part-time job and going to school full-time. My reason for going to Vegas was to share inspiration with others. I wasn’t making any money on it. I not only paid for the repair, but I paid for a tow rope that I would probably only use that one time. Couldn’t God have helped me out, so I wouldn’t need to spend my hard-earned money? He could have arranged for the car to run fine. What had I done to deserve this adversity? 

Later that summer, I was camping in the mountains north and east of Provo. It had rained in the afternoon and the dirt roads were slick. A couple of young ladies were driving and got their vehicle stuck in a rut. They were eager to get back to town and were almost frantic. I told them I had a tow rope and would see if I could pull them out. I was able to and they drove off, appreciative of the help. 

If I hadn’t had the tow rope in my trunk, I wouldn’t have been able to help them. No other vehicles came by the rest of the time I was there. They would have been in a pickle. 

I was grateful I had bought the tow rope in Vegas earlier that year. I also used it other times when it came in very handy. And technically, it wasn’t that expensive, it’s just that I was pinching pennies in those days.

The moral of the story is that I can trust God. He knows what is in my future. He sometimes provides opportunities to prepare me so I’ll be ready for future events. What I saw as adversity was actually a blessing. I learned that God “doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world” (2 Nephi 26:24). 

Elder Holland taught: “Remember that God is on your side. He is not an angry, vicious God trying to trip you. He is for you—not against you. He is your Father. He is anxious to do everything possible to bless you.”

To be continued . . . with Part 70