Let Your Light Shine

One propensity of perfectionists is that we care a lot about what other people think of us. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown talks about the 4P’s: pretending, performing, pleasing, and perfecting. These have definitely been part of my inclination, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

In this month’s Come, Follow Me, we read about how Martin Harris asked Joseph Smith to let him take the 116 pages of manuscript translated from the first part of the Book of Mormon. Martin lost them and Joseph was chastised for giving in to peer pressure, or “the persuasions of men.” “You should not have feared man more than God.” (D&C 3:6-7) So if I care more about what men want than what God wants, then I’m in good company, with Joseph. 

My patriarchal blessing talks about me being a messenger of the gospel, that I should be a good example, and that those in my community would see my example and glorify God. This aligns with Jesus’ admonition to “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matt 5:16)

So, it is good to do good, and to let others see our good examples. But we are also told to “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them.” (Matt. 6:1) This seems contradictory. Should I let others see me doing good, or not? 

I’ve come to the conclusion that what makes the difference is: the condition of my heart. If I perform, or do alms, or good works—with the intent to be praised of men, then my heart isn’t in the right place. If I do good deeds out of the goodness of my heart, then I’m not desiring praise and recognition. 

I recently finished a book by Virginia Hinckley Pearce, A Heart Like His: Making Space for God’s Love in Your Life. I really like this quote from Chapter 4. 

Learning to live with an open heart is not about learning to say the right words and refraining from saying the wrong words. In fact, just the opposite. I would venture to say that when my heart is open and filled with God’s love, I cannot say it wrong, and when it is hardened and closed to Him, I simply cannot say it right, no matter how carefully I may choose the words or phrases or inflections of voice. Remember that this is all about becoming, not doing or saying.

So, that’s what makes the difference. If I perform or serve with an open heart, then others will see that I am doing it in an authentic, genuine way. 

For me, this is really difficult to do consistently. In fact, I’m just coming to understand some of this. A good friend told me that I tend to act and make decisions too often above the neck—meaning that I need to be less analytical and more heart-directed. He’s right. My mind cares more about how I appear to others. Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)

To be continued . . . with Part 71