How Can I Pray?

In this blog post, I’m going to look at how the formality of my prayers has affected my spiritual growth. I believe there are some connections to the development of my perfectionism. 

As a kid, I learned to pray with my arms folded, head bowed, and eyes closed. This was probably so that I wouldn’t be distracted by or distract others. I also learned to address God as “Our Father in Heaven” since that is how Jesus modeled it in The Lord’s Prayer. And I learned the respectful use of thee, thou, thy, and thine when praying. I even got pretty good with words like dost, wouldst, and canst. 

The intent was to show reverence and respect for Deity. But for someone like me, for whom God was somewhat unapproachable, this just served to increase the distance between Him and me. So now I’m learning how to be different with God in helpful, productive ways. 

At the risk of sounding overly Protestant, I now enjoy praying while looking heavenward with arms stretched out and open. Sometimes I like to picture God as sitting by me or holding me while I’m praying. I often pray in such mundane places as: while driving, in the shower, doing yard work, or on the treadmill. Alma encourages us to pray in our fields, in our houses, in our closets, in our secret places, and in our wilderness. (See Alma 34.)

I’ve learned that I can pray using informal pronouns. I can say you and your. I can even call Him Dad. And, as opposed to making me feel disrespectful, this actually makes me feel closer to Him. (Jesus called Him Abba, which is like calling him Papa or Daddy.) 

In researching the pros and cons of formal pronouns, I found that Joseph Fielding Smith taught: “The Father and the Son should always be honored in our prayers in the utmost humility and reverence. … The changing of the wording of the Bible to meet the popular language of our day, has, in the opinion of the writer and his brethren, been a great loss in the building of faith and spirituality in the minds and hearts of the people.” (Answers to Gospel Questions, Deseret Book Co., 1958, vol. 2, pp. 15, 17.)

In April 1993 General Conference, Elder Oaks taught: “In our day the English words thee, thou, thy, and thine are suitable for the language of prayer, not because of how they were used anciently but because they are currently obsolete in common English discourse. Being unused in everyday communications, they are now available as a distinctive form of address in English, appropriate to symbolize respect, closeness, and reverence for the one being addressed.”

Further, Elder Wirthlin taught: “Do you want to commune with the Infinite? Then approach Him with reverence and humility. Don’t worry so much about whether your words are polished or not. Worry instead about speaking from your heart.”

Everyone’s journey is different. In my own experience, I’ve found that when I pray in public I still feel the pull to use the formal speech. But in my personal, heartfelt prayers, I want to bring Him as close to me as I can. And this has helped me manage my perfectionism in a healthier way. 

To be continued . . . with Part 81