Stepping into Uncertainty

Earlier this month, Elder Bruce C. Hafen and his wife Marie came to the BYUI campus to speak at an Academic Forum.  They also met with faculty in a separate meeting. They have recently written a new book called, “Faith is not Blind,” and sent Chapter 2 to all faculty so we could be prepared for their message.  I was enthralled with the chapter and quickly finished the whole book. One of my favorite chapters is entitled “Productive Ambiguity.”  

I’ve always had a hard time dealing with ambiguity, because of the need to be “in control.”  Typical of perfectionists is that we are planned and organized. We don’t like surprises and are not impulsive.  We like security and are low-risk.

The Hafens teach that on the other side of complexity is simplicity.  They quote Oliver Wendell Holmes, the great American judge. He said, “I would not give a fig for the simplicity on this side of complexity. But I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side of complexity.”

There’s a stage in our personal development, where we’re kind of innocent.  Our ideas are unchallenged.  And as we grow, it’s a natural process that we will encounter new thoughts, new people, new experiences.  And that can be very challenging.  That is the complexity Holmes is talking about.  People sometimes get stuck in that complexity.  They never get out, their hearts are hardened, and life becomes really difficult.  What Holmes says to us is that maybe the complexity actually makes it possible for us to arrive at a place of informed faith.

If I sit in comfort and naïveté, I’m untested and inexperienced.  But if I am willing to go through complex issues and trials, I can achieve a simple trust born of experience.  

Also earlier this month I read a BYU devotional talk by Scott Miller called “Humble Uncertainty.”  Here are a few of my favorite parts:

Life itself is very much like college. There may be times when we wish for the tests to be simplified or waived altogether and when we forget that life is a complex system designed by loving Heavenly Parents to make us into better people and prepare us for an eternity of expanding opportunities. Sometimes, when we pray to have our trials end quickly, we are like first-year students sending home pity-me texts. If God were to immediately swoop in and rescue us, eternity itself might just prove to be something of a basement experience.

Instead, God, like other wise parents, knows that great things will come out of the difficulties and challenges we face. He knows our eternal identity and potential. We, on the other hand, are often clueless about that identity and live forever perched at the edge of a dark, inscrutable path we call the future. We cannot see what lies ahead, which can make our journey discouraging, if not utterly terrifying.

These things we fear have their positive sides too, and we should not be so consumed by our fears and uncertainties that we abandon hope and never move forward. There was a reason Moses, Lehi, and Brigham Young were all commanded to leave comfort and security and strike off into the wilderness. That is where the burning bush, the Liahona, and Zion were awaiting. When we muster the faith to confront our doubts and fears by venturing forward into the dark unknown, we may learn that simple faith might be as fragile as starlight but that it can also guide our journey, fixed as the North Star.

This hits home to me because right now, I’m facing a situation where I have no control over the outcome.  Without going into detail, I feel like I’m stepping into the darkness and I’m forced to trust the outcome to God.  It’s uncomfortable. But then, as the saying goes, there’s no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone.  The trial of my faith comes in the uncertain moments, not when I know exactly what I’m doing.  As I go forth, like Nephi, not knowing beforehand what I will do, my faith is strengthened and I grow in my discipleship.  

To be continued . . . with Part 51