Worthiness Is Not Flawlessness

Twice a year, in April and October, I reference General Conference talks that relate to perfectionism. I’ll refer to three here. 

Bradley R. Wilcox, well-known for his famous “His Grace is Sufficient” talk at BYU, is now Second Counselor in the Young Men General Presidency. (Brad and I were singers in the Young Ambassadors at BYU back in 1979-80.) In the Saturday Evening Session, Brad said: 

God’s message is that worthiness is not flawlessness. Worthiness is being honest and trying. Elder Bruce C. Hafen said that developing a Christlike character “requires patience and persistence more than it requires flawlessness.” The Lord has said the gifts of the Spirit are “given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do.” 

Remember, change is possible, repentance is a process, and worthiness is not flawlessness. Most important, remember that God and Christ are willing to help us right here and now.

Some mistakenly receive the message that God is waiting to help until after we repent. God’s message is that He will help us as we repent. His grace is available to us “no matter where we are in the path of obedience.” Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said: “God does not need people who are flawless. He seeks those who will offer their heart and a willing mind, and He will make them perfect in Christ.

This resonates with me because, for much of my life, if I wasn’t doing everything perfectly, I felt I wasn’t worthy (to approach God, to take the sacrament, to attend the temple, etc.). So I love the concept that worthiness is being honest and trying. 

Elder Michael A. Dunn, of the Seventy spoke in the Sunday Afternoon Session about how the British national bicycle racing teams went from being the laughingstock of the cycling world to winning the Tour de France six times. They did this by focusing on improving each aspect of their cycling by just one percent. 

Instead of trying to perfect everything, what if we tackled just one thing?

Could aggregating small but steady marginal gains in our lives finally be the way to victory over even the most pesky of our personal shortcomings? Can this bite-sized approach to tackling our blemishes really work?

If you can get just one percent better at something each day, by the end of a year … you will be 37 times better.

I embrace his message because I don’t need to have unrealistic expectations of my capabilities. Growth can happen by just being a little bit better today than I was yesterday. 

Elder Erich W. Kopischke addressed Mental Health, sharing the heartbreaking story of his son, who returned home early from his mission due to severe anxiety and depression. 

We long to be perfect even as our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are perfect. Because mental illness can interfere with our perception of perfection, it remains all too often a taboo. As a result, there is too much ignorance, too much silent suffering, and too much despair. Many, feeling overwhelmed because they do not meet perceived standards, mistakenly believe they have no place in the Church.

For all who are personally affected by mental illness, hold fast to your covenants, even if you might not feel God’s love at this time. Do whatever lies in your power and then “stand still … to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”

Although my perfectionism isn’t officially a mental illness, it definitely affects my thinking in unproductive ways—if I let it. Fortunately, I’m learning to recognize some of the warning signs of those mental tendencies, and then avoid the pitfalls. 

To be continued . . . with Part 80