Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 127

For October, I usually promote a General Conference talk that speaks to the perfectionist part of me. This time, I’ve chosen Elder Kearon’s Jesus Christ and Your New Beginning. Here are some of my favorite parts:

I love the thought of new beginnings, unfettered by past mistakes and failures. I love the message of Lamentations 3:22-23 – “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”

Take three minutes and listen to this song by Micah Tyler. 

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 121

After General Conference, for my monthly blog post, I usually choose a talk that deals with some of my perfectionistic tendencies. This time, the obvious choice is Sister Tamara W. Runia, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency. Here are some of my favorite quotes from her talk: 

This is one of the concepts that has helped me to become more shame resilient. I distinguish between my infinite worth and my behavior. Although my behavior may be maladaptive at times, my worth in the sight of God never fluctuates. 

You can read the full talk here

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 119

I stumbled across a quote by C.S. Lewis that addresses perfection and how the Lord intends to perfect us. This is great!

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (1952; Harper Collins: 2001)

The Lord’s work and glory is to exalt me. And He knows how to do his work.

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 117

As I look at setting New Year’s resolutions, which is my MO at this time of year, I typically like to choose a word or phrase as a theme for the coming year. I haven’t settled on this one for sure, but I’m leaning toward “be still.” 

I’m grateful that I’m retired and have a little more time to pull back from the daily grind and find peace and calm. It’s nice to not feel the expectation of constantly needing to “get it right” but rather, breathe in the stillness. 

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 111

The older I get, the more I realize that there is a lot of information out there that is good and true. (Yes, there is also a lot that is bad and false, but stay with me here.) I used to think that if a concept wasn’t spoken over the pulpit at General Conference, then we couldn’t accept it as true. That was absolute thinking. I hope I have a healthier approach now. 

President Nelson taught:

Joseph Smith taught:

Brigham Young taught:

I am encouraged to learn by study and also by faith. I can embrace truth, wherever I find it. May I have the spirit of discernment to distinguish between truth and error. 

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 109

During General Conference, I listen to see who addresses anything pertaining to perfectionism. This time, I chose Elder Kearon’s talk because of the hope it gives for removing barriers to returning to God. It also shows how much God wants us back with Him. I pulled several paragraphs straight from his address: 

How could he be more direct? How could I dispute the Lord’s goodness and love? And Elder Kearon’s fun British accent adds to the sweetness of the truths he shares.

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist – Part 106

For this month’s post, I will quote directly from my friend, Jason. It resonates with the perfectionist part of me. 

We men like formulas. We like bullet points. We like bright lines. They make life easier. They cut through mystery and doubt. We’d love it if such things could govern our relationships with God. They would make following him easier, too. At least, we think they would. So we try to create them. It starts innocently: Someone seeks God and finds him—through a specific prayer or practice, or through a particular way of studying Scripture or being in community or doing service. But, then, that person decides that’s “the” way to find God. Others are persuaded, of course, because they want to find God too. And a formula is born, a bullet point, a bright line, a rule about how our relationships with God must look.

The thing is, while God never changes (James 1:17, Hebrews 13:8), our relationships with him do. They’re ever-changing, ever challenging (2 Corinthians 3:18). There’s always more with God. There’s always mystery. And there’s always something new. But because we fear change and fear being challenged, we often cling to what’s worked in the past or what’s worked for someone else. We create a rule, repeat a ritual, but we may not grow and mature in our relationships with God.

Okay, so what do we do?

“Don’t set people up as experts over your life, letting them tell you what to do. Save that authority for God; let him tell you what to do” (Matthew 23:8-10 MSG).

Set aside some time to pray and to listen. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Ask where you might find him next—maybe in Scripture; maybe through serving; or on a short-term mission; or out in his creation; or something else. Let him guide your thoughts. Let him keep you on track.